My husband beats me and it’s become a regular thing. He regularly wraps his hand around my throat, throws me into the wall or into objects or to the floor, pins me down so I can’t breathe, pushes me out of my chair or the bed, punches and slaps me around, uses a pillow to beat me, slams my head, even presses his teeth on my skin.

I never know when it’s coming. He gets this crazy look in his eyes and each time goes a little farther. He tells me I wanted it or I deserved it, for sticking up for myself and not backing down on something I believe in. The issue is his drug use, but I’m wondering if I’m dealing with something more. He calls me sadistic and that I bring him to that point. Since he’s my husband, I’m stuck, there’s nothing in the vows to help me out of this. I might have to break a vow when my body is sore and covered in marks by someone who promised to love and protect me. I want to believe it’s the drugs that makes him do this, but I’ve always believed that some have it in them to abuse, some don’t. I guess what I’m looking for is your experience with an abusive partner and how long it went on, how it ended, did he ever stop, were drugs a factor, etc. Please help because at some point I’m going to have to make a decision. Things aren’t always bad but when they’re bad it’s hell on earth.