I feel so numb and dead majority of the time. I’m having so many issues in my relationship that idk what to do anymore. I can’t even talk to the ppl I want to talk to because I feel like I will be judged or not understand with what I’m going though. I feel like everyone is against me. I feel like being indoors because this world is so fucked up and I have the feel to protect my loved ones. I’ve been on my own since I was 16 going in and out for foster homes and group homes and everyone in my life abandoned me and didn’t give two shits about me. And now I just push ppl away from me because I feel like they’re going to do the same thing to me even though I feel like I got close to them and felt some type of betrayal from them and now I’m back to this person not giving a damn and pushing them away because I feel like if I get too close I somehow will get abandoned and left. Ppl just don’t understand when I love I love hard and give them my all but with a guard up. I know it’s a little hard to explain but i hope you understand what i mean by that. Idk right now im all over the place and left so many things out because i don’t really want to go into detail. I just don’t have anyone to talk to.