This is a rant of sorts, because I feel like I am going crazy.

I had latch issues from the get-go due to baby being 11 days early and tiny, as well as my nipples being short, small, and refusing to stay erect for baby to feed. We supplemented with donor milk and then formula until my milk came in 4 days after he was born. I have also been pumping with every feeding attempt to protect my supply.

Monday we saw a LC and she recommended nipple shields to help with the nipple issues I was having. Baby boy went from fighting to latch to, now, spending upwards of 2-3 hours a feed. I'm beginning to hate breastfeeding. Between being stuck to the couch or rocking chair for hours on end, baby still being hungry after hours on end, and having to pump, I feel like all I am is a couch-ridden cow who can't actually satisfy her baby without also having to offer a bottle of pumped milk after every feed. I feel like I can't do anything, and I have been out of the house three times for doctor appointments since he was born.

When does it get easier? When do I get to the, "I love feeding my baby" part? When does only a breastfeeding session end up being enough for my little guy? It feels like a punch in the gut that he feeds for so long and is still hungry.