Infertility thoughts

As I look in the mirror what do I see. I keep smiling but it doesn’t seem real. I try my hardest to be positive but i know how I feel. I feel broken, tired, emotional and drained. It’s hard to keep a smiling face when deep inside your really broken. I am scared and don’t want to answer any more questions. I try so hard to count my blessings but all I see is the one thing that is uncertain. Those couple of words the dr said to us is all I have in my head playing over and over again. I try my hardest to ignore the pain but somehow it shows in every step that I take. I know this fight hasn’t even started but how is it that I feel so defeated. All I want is to be ok and I hope to be able to be a mother one day.