So long story short I’m gonna admit... our relationship was very toxic. It was sweet at first (maybe like 6months in) but then became very bittersweet and controlling. He’d control who I talked to, who I hung out with and who I’d follow on social media... he even made it clear with his own words “Tabitha, I don’t want anyone else making you happy, that’s my job” that should have risen a BIIIGGGG red flag. But stupid lovesick me still sat and listened to him. We got in many fights about my best friend... whom he considered toxic to me. In reality she was the only one I feel I could talk to. Anyway all the emotional guilt and I anxiety sunk in and I got very depressed and I downed 26 Motrin pills. (I even sent him a picture of it, ig as a warning idk tbh) anyway going forward I was rushed to the hospital by my mom and I was laying on the bed half alive almost, going in and out of consciousness.. I finally woke up in the phych ward and stupid me again gave him my first phone call in the ward and that’s when he broke up with me. I had a panic attack then. Like he didn’t even cared that I almost died the night before... so it all hit me at once. ANYWAY... after I got out of the hospital I went into the party scene... HEAVILY drinking and smoking pot and kissing strangers... ig to numb the pain. The parties I went to, I should’ve been murdered or in jail but somehow weaseled out of it. That went on til February of this year when I met my current bf now... and he was a friend of my ex (didn’t know until after he asked me out) and he said that my ex told people I overdosed on herion. (Which fuels anger inside me tbh....)now it’s July and it’s been officially a year since all that happened and I still have a piece of my heart with him. Idek why but I do and it just won’t go away. ((((Ig my question is... how can I just move in from it... even though I’m traumatized by the blind love I had for him?))))