I’ve been hurting over this a lot the past few days. Pretty much I have feelings for my ex and I have a boyfriend.

I’ve been with my current boyfriend for a little over a year and it’s been a rocky road because he is abusive. Since the day we got together I still thought about my ex all the time.

I recently got back in contact with my ex that I truly felt was the love of my life. Our relationship was like a dream. To me, he’s the one that got away. It ended because he had a lot of baggage with child custody and suffered with metal health issues. It was the worst feeling I have ever felt.

We’ve messaged each other here and there but recently he told me he still has feelings for me after two years of being apart. He lives in another state.

The truth is I still want him. And my current relationship hasn’t been good from the beginning. But I’m scared. My heart hurts. I’m scared to leave for financial reasons which I know sounds pathetic. I feel small and weak. I feel like I’ll end up homeless without my boyfriend even though he’s been horrible to me.

And I long for my ex. I hate this. I can’t just leave and go to my ex. It’s not that simple.