My bf if the person i lost my virginity to, and i had liked stuff in 50 shades and i like calling him daddy and i like hand restrictions and i like being spanked and so on. But lately...

He’s very dominant and it’s gotten to the point where it’s a little much for me?

he told me before if i stay stop or no or something he’s gonna keep going unless i use the safe word (or sometimes if i’m insistent).

But i don’t really like to use the safe word because it feels very serious and i feel like if i use it we won’t do anything sexual after.

So he’ll say stuff like “i don’t care what you fucking like” in response to me saying calm down or slow down or stop and he chokes me really hard

And I know a lot of people love that but honestly I don’t like it all the time and a lot of times I forget that i have a say, and i’ll just feel kind of...bad

I’m a lot kinkier with my fantasies, and then when it actually happens it just... doesn’t make me feel good.

I don’t know, am i too vanilla ? How can i make it so that i enjoy this type of thing more so that we can do it ?