PLEASE TELL ME YOU GUYS SEE A LINE TOO!!!

Here’s a little background of what I’ve been through with my previous pregnancy.

So...Back in March I was exactly 20 weeks pregnant with my first child (DUE AUGUST 8th, 2018) when I lost him. I had just found out it was a boy a week prior and started buying clothes. At my 20 week mark, I was sleeping a lot that day, and I was having a lot of stomach pains. I woke up and went to the bathroom and had some slight bleeding. Something also didn’t feel right. I was trying to pee and I felt like I was pushing something out...I immediately went to the hospital and my only thought was I’m losing the most important thing in my entire life. I couldn’t stop crying. Fast forward, I’m hysterical crying and waiting for the doctor who is taking his precious time. Finally he comes and does an ultrasound. A sac of fluid was coming through my cervix. He said...”There is no easy way to tell you this...but your son will be here within the next 12 hours. You have what is called an incompetent cervix.” Every thing I ever believed in went out the window. I was already having problems with blood clots in my legs and pulmonary embolism from early on in my pregnancy. When I first found out I was pregnant I stopped everything. Going out with friends, any extra activity. I went to work and home and relaxed. I wanted to do everything I possibly could to prevent anything from happening to my baby. He was all I ever wanted in life. I’ve been having fertility issues and when I found out I was pregnant with him it was THE HAPPIEST DAY OF MY LIFE. -Fast forward back to what the doctor had just told me. That whole night was so horrible. When it was finally time for them to basically induce me, I wasn’t ready. You could never be ready for that. I remember feeling him start to come. I had already been screaming and crying previously from constantly thinking my son would be here soon and I don’t want him to come out. I feel him start to come. I started screaming NO over and over and over and trying to squeeze my vagina as tight as I could because I didn’t want him to come out. It didn’t work. He came out and I just couldn’t believe it. He lived for an hour and passed in my arms. He was a legit spitting imagine of my boyfriend, even at just 20 weeks. It hurt so much and still does. I replay that day over and over in my head every day. I went through a bad depression that nobody understood. We tried every month after to TTC again. One of the hardest things also that I’ve been dealing with is my sister in law being pregnant with a boy as well and we were due THE SAME DAY. I can’t even be around her or I bust into tears. I also don’t think I can be there when she has the baby and that might sound selfish but I feel it would destroy me mentally when i finally in an ok mental state. Every month has been the biggest disappointment and devastation when aunt flow came, it was just another reminder that our baby boy wasn’t here. With my sons due date coming up in a few days, I was worried about being in a deep depression with him not being here and me not being sure if I could ever have kids.

Now we are at the end of this month. I’m on cycle day 33. I took a First Response test yesterday and today. I thought I was crazy yesterday looking at the test for almost an hour thinking I saw a line. Today, I looked for a few minutes and was like it’s a tiny bit darker today =O so I came out the bathroom and was like babe please tell me you see the line too :D It took him a minute and then he saw it also and we both got really excited!! I plan to take another in a few days to be sure but, here’s hoping! Let me know what you think!