I’m Down 😕

Sooo I’m upset basically my boyfriend has been in Chicago at his mom’s for the summer and since then we haven’t been communicating and I wouldn’t be upset if it was because he was spending time with his mom that’s crazy I’m upset because it’s the video games and I’m even more upset because when he finally gets off his game he goes on Instagram and I see when he’s active and god knows what else he’s doing or who else he’s talking to, he does all these things but he can’t call me or text me he’s barely really busy as in spending time with his mom or family plus who would I be to want him to talk to me during that quality time but that’s not the case. When I call it’s a waste of time either he doesn’t answer or he wants to play his game and when he says he’ll call me back soon his soon isn’t till 4 am or 6 am when he wants to sleep and when I’m sleeping. The other day I called him 4 times and I got no answer the whole day and felt like I was begging to talk to my own boyfriend I also felt desperate and not wanted I didn’t get a call back till the next night. Sometimes I try to do him like how he does me tell him I’m busy or just ignore him but that’s not me I always end up calling back in less than 10 minuets and when I’m not trying to get my revenge no matter what I’m doing or where I am I always pick up his calls and I’m always happy to. Another thing is I don’t like to be that girlfriend who suspects shit and accuses him of talking to other girls but tbh I just feel like that’s also why he doesn’t want to talk to me and deep down I know that’s why I’m actually upset but I shouldn’t be because I’m not positive but I can’t help feeling like this. I don’t like to be annoying or bother people so when he says he’ll call me back I say ok and I wait and I wait and I wait even if it’s till the next day and when I miss 1 call from him it’s a problem. All I know is him I barely have anyone else to talk to plus I’m not that good at talking to other people and he knows that, I love our conversations, I always look forward to them every day, I’ve been so down for a very long time and talking to him makes me feel so happy but lately it’s like I’m back to that unhappy place... I guess this is what it’s like to need somebody☹️