mutual break up after 5 years we are 18 years old(virgins ). I'm leaving hours away for college. I feel crazy looking at other young men and thinking I could actually date them now

because of the tight relationship he has with his mother he doesnt go against the rules ( adult child) I'm not okay with being held down like that any more I've been independent and free to do what I want my whole life being raised by only my father and because of this he cant commit fully to me with his love ( which I know sounds absurd because our age but after 5 years I expect respect from his mother he doesnt stand up for me after she judges my upbringing ) . for me to go to college and our relationship to be at 100% would be a little hard because we wont see each other but we would be committed to trying so I see us working out still but recently he had promised to go on a trip with me and our church group to the state next door and after the church even to stay with my family and meet them for about 5 days he said he wanted to go go even if his mom said no and he paid $300 to go but when it came to "tell" her he was going, he decided to listen to her and not come . I'm devastated. then after he started ignoring me and ugh. it was just another broken promise . so I told him I'm worth more love our relationship is very one sided now . he isnt growing hes comfortable being an adult child, when I get back from.this trip with my family I'm telling him I cant do it anymore and I'm devastated I still love him but I cant take the emotional abuse any more .

give me your 110% opinion.

also tell me if this was too confusing to follow along to?