I've always dealt with severe depression and anxiety since I was little kid when I was taken from my mom. im only 20 but I've been through way to much emotion and mental torture in my life so far. ever since 9th grade I've been dealing with suicidal thoughts and often would end up on a 72 hour hold at the psych hospital. lately I've just been dealing with so much emotional and mental bullshit and it's getting bad last year I also had a miscarriage which doubled the feeling i already had. I'm constantly trying to convince myself to not act out on what's in my head but more and more and more frequently my mind is filled with all these fucked up thoughts and everything that's happening literally feels like it's killing me. I have NOONE to turn to. no friends . no family. I have a boyfriend but hes an ass .. I don't really want upvotes or comments I just needed to get this of my chest . but please no rude or harsh comments if you do. I just... don't know what to do anymore.