I was doing so well, going out with friends actually feeling like I had friends for once and enjoying life. Then I found out I was pregnant which is amazing for my SO and me, we have been together for 7 years and had been trying for over a year. Well I’m five months pregnant now and my SO has been out of town for 4 1/2 months working. All my “friends” ditched me when I told them I was pregnant, even my thought best friend. I don’t know what I’m getting at I honestly just wanted to get this off my mind and put it somewhere else...I just feel extremely lonely again like I have no one, yes I have my SO but he’s not here to love on me and try to make me feel better he just knows that I want him home. Those bad thoughts are coming back again, it’s been a year free of not thinking about suicide but now it’s back. I’ve never tried anything and don’t think I would. But it’s been like a everyday thing. My baby is the only thing that keeps me going. I can’t talk to my SO about this or my mom bc they don’t understand this darkness you feel. I just feel so lonely and feel like no one gives a shit about me.