My now husband and I found out we were expecting in Jan 2017. We had been together for over a year then and knew we wanted kids just didn’t expect it to happen so soon (yes I was on birth control) He was horrible to me, trying to manipulate me into getting an abortion, telling me I would be alone in this because he wasn’t ready. I was already in love and made up my mind that was keeping this baby. I cried almost every night alone. He emotionally tortured me those 9 months, walking out of drs appointments because he couldn’t handle it, not touching me because he was “grossed” out by it all, and telling me I was trapping him. There’s more but you get the point. I told him I would do this on my own ( I had so much support from my family and his) but he decided to stick it out(he admitted to me during an argument the only reason he did was so he didn’t look like a pos in front of his family/friends). His biggest argument was he wasn’t ready and we are too young. We were both 27. I get that a lot of men get scared of change and the unknown but he was dead set on not having this baby. He would tell me over and over again I ruined his life. After a few months he seemed to have relaxed a little and even proposed to me. I know it sounds dumb but all the pregnancy hormones and the happy family ideas took over and I said yes. We eloped and things seemed to fall into place. He was still distant but not as bad. When our baby was born he was super helpful in the hospital and then started “acting out” once we got home. He would call our baby “it” and told me I paid more attention to her than him (obviously 🙄) I had a c section and did everything for her because I was the one that “chose this” and he was too depressed to help. I accepted this and honestly was okay with it because she made me so extremely happy. Fast forward 9 months later and he’s amazing with her. Like literally a great dad and back to the guy I fell for , I couldn’t ask for a better outcome. Why do I feel so bitter and detached from him? When I try talking about it he’s super defensive and says welcome to having kids and never owns up to how he treated me. Has anyone had experience with this? Am I just being ungrateful? I feel like part of me saw the very worst in him and I don’t know if I can get over it.

Please no hateful comments.