today is not a good day

Today I have been feeling really down. If my son was born he would have beem a week old today. It just seems like my life is going nowhere. I have sat a cried almost all day. I lost my son when I was 16 wks on February 13,2018. I jut sit and wonder why God called him back home. Did I do something wrong in my life and God is punishing me. I just don't understand. I lost my first baby on October 21,2014. She or he was due on June 8,2015. Why can't I have my happy family. I will be 36 in September and I am asking from God is what I want more than anything in world to have my family.