Okay, prepare for a long ass story...

So my girlfriend and I got together when we were 15. We've been on and off for 8 years now. At some point when we were off we both had sex with guys (she's bi and I'm pan). Well it was a horrible experience for both of us. We ended up getting back together and we have decided after 4 years [continuously] we're in this for the long haul.

Recently she's reconnected with a friend from highschool that she hasn't seen in about 7 years, he was also her first crush. She had a rough go of it in highschool and he was the only person that protected her. Right before we got together they lost touch.

Anyway, she got high with a friend of hers like a week ago and her friend convinced her to message him on Facebook and tell him how she felt. Then and now because that whole situation created a lot of what ifs.

She told him that he was her first crush and he, at the time, was the only one who gave a shit about her or was even nice to her. Also that she'd been thinking about him a lot recently and that she still had some residual feelings.

They never expected a response... But they got one. He told her that he also had feelings for her way back when and that he missed her as well.

I found out about all of this after I got off work the next day. I was cool with it, they decided to go have drinks and I ended up meeting with them later, after I took some time to wind down from work.

She told him when they met up that we were together and had been for years, his first question was if we had an open relationship... 🤨🤨🤨 That kinda threw me for a loop.

After we all talked we decided to have him over this last Saturday for drinks and mainly a chance for me to get to know him.

Before all this my girlfriend started researching open relationships and she brought it to me and I lost my shit. It wasn't a no but it couldn't have been at a worse time.

I have been her only relationship ever, she has also been mine. I've decided that what we have is all I need... Mostly...

She pretty much asked me if I would explore the matter of her being with us both if the option were to arise. I said no, it crushed me.

I have a lot of shit wrong with me both physically and mentally. I honestly thought that was her way of telling me that she was done with us.

After we talked it out and I came to my senses, I told her that I couldn't handle it being just her and him that it would be him and us or nothing. She was perfectly fine with it. But all I can think of now and even while he was here Saturday (the conversation never came up) was if I had put her in a box and if I was being selfish. He is an awesome dude, a bit rough around the edges, but still chill and pretty fucking hot. 😍😍😍

I can't honestly expect him to want both of us, right? 🤔🤔🤔 Other than her and a one night stand I've never had anyone actually interested in me.

Is this just me in my feelings? Are my trepidations legitimate? I need to know if I'm fucking this up. I don't want her to get her hopes up for something he may not be down for, and I also don't want her to have regrets (about never being with him or only being with me).