Daddy holding the baby first, thoughts?

Question

I want to involve my husband as much as possible in the birth. We have both agreed he won’t watch the baby actually being born as he doesn’t want to and that’s absolutely fine but I would like him to be the first out of us to hold the baby. Is anyone else doing this? Anyone I’ve ever talked to the mother has been first to hold the baby.
I know skin to skin is important but he can do it too, it doesn’t have to be the mother and I don’t plan on breastfeeding. I’m just looking to see what everyone else is doing ☺️

Answer

Honestly I find that weird like why wouldn’t u want that first contact with your baby that’s something u cant get back like he doesn’t wanna witness the birth but u want him to hold the baby first that makes no sense ... how is he gonna hold the baby first when he wouldn’t be there ?

Answer

It's ultimately your choice but as much as my husband is great and an amazing father, I did all the work with the pregnancy and horrible labor, I wanted to be the first contact baby had. With my last 2 kids they were c sections so I didn't have a choice and it sucked that I had to wait to hold them. And I noticed those 2 babies were more bonded to my husband in the beginning than the 2 I had vaginally and got to hold right away. 
I'm all for gender equality, but you did a vast majority of the work momma!

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There’s a reason they give the baby automatically to the mother in my opinion but it’s your baby and your choice so do you.

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Two things, they can't delay cord clamping if mom doesnt hold the baby first, and dad wont be able to cut the cord either. Just something to consider.

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I’ll hold baby first like I did with my first, I don’t think its really a discussion, it’s automatic that the midwifes will give mother the baby after carrying it for 9 months and baby will be used to mamas heartbeat and stuff, think after all that hard work in labour the least you get to do it snuggle your babe first. I suppose it’s up to you and maybe doesn’t matter much but it’s kinda an instinct as you’ve probably bonded with the baby more carrying him or her, feeling their movements etc. You’ve been their since that heart started beating, dad will hold immediately after no doubt but I think first hold and skin to skin needs to be momma, in my opinion, doesn’t mean it’s correct

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My husband held our daughter first (I had a csection so he held her while I was stitched up and until I got back to the room. I see nothing wrong with it personally. I did however hold both of our boys first

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My partner always held our babies 1st as I’ve had two c-sections with my boys, so wasn’t possible for me to hold them till after I was in recovery. Doesn’t bother me tho I love him having the 1st cuddle with our babies and be the same for this one to. If you want baby to go straight to dad then tell them, when your in labour they won’t say no.

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If that’s what u want to do go for it. Ull both eventually hold the baby anyways...so I guess it really doesn’t matter who is first. 
I would say let the dr and hospital staff know while ur in labor. My experience with my other two...everything is moving so fast that once baby is out... the plop the baby in mom....bloody and gooie and everything lol. Then they’ll get the stuff ready to cut the cord. So just let the dr know that way he gives the baby to hub first

Answer

That’s a little unusual considering you’re the one that carried the baby the entire time, etc. Although saying that, my midwives told me that they like dad to have some skin to skin contact too. I was told by my midwives (UK) that they like mum to have skin to skin cuddles for a minimum of an hour and then daddy can have skin to skin too. I think having mum hold baby first relaxes the baby and helps to form the bond your baby will have for you, after all, baby will be used to your heartbeat, your voice more than dads, your internal sounds, etc. But if that’s what you want then I don’t see why it would be a problem. 
Just a side note.. my mum said that my dad had said from the start that he wasn’t going anywhere near her leg end while I was being born and he ended up looking. He did the same with my younger sister. Also, my partners sister in law said her husband had point blank refused to go the messy end but ended up down there looking completely in awe. The point of me saying that is just to express that just because dad has said he doesn’t want to go the messy end doesn’t mean he won’t.

Answer

Totally fine! It's your baby and that's very sweet of you!

Daddy holding the baby first, thoughts?

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