Should I tell my dad that I was raped


I am from Asian(Pakistani) family but been living in UK for over 12 years. I got married last year and it was an arranged marriage. On my wedding night i told him no .. i said I needed a month atleast to get to know him .. cried and begged him but I was forced which broke me.. it was very traumatic for me since I had never done it before and was a virgin.. I had never even kissed or hugged a guy before . And for a whole month it happened and it was very painful everytime. It’ was like my body went numb and later when I took shower i felt disgusted with myself .. i wanted to skin every part of my body that he touched .. since we were married I didn’t realise that even if u r married it’s rape if the woman says no. Which I realised after I saw my dr .. I told my husband that Dr told me that it’s painful because my body gets tensed since I have never done it before I got married and dr said to not do it for a while until I feel comfortable .. even after that he tried to force me .. but I stopped him with force .. and since then he has been rude towards me .. he’s been lying to other about me wanting to marry someone else .. so he can get out of this marriage .. Since I am Muslim and from an Asian background it’s consider very shameful to be sharing something like this with ur own father .. Because no one in my family knows the reason of his behaviour towards me and they r starting to believe that it’s something wrong that i did .. which is why I want to tell my dad the truth .. but my mother says that my dad will get mad at her saying “Is this the upbringing u gave ur daughter to be talking about stuff like this to me” .. and that he might have a heart attack if he hears the truth (he’s a heart patient) .. what should I do .. I don’t want to endure this pain and humiliation anymore .. but I also don’t want to know that for my dad .. his respect is more important than me and my life .. coz I might die with pain knowing that my dad also thinks like these illiterate people that a woman should endure all the pain .. even if she’s getting raped she should keep quiet.. I don’t believe it’s right for any woman to suffer that .. being a British citizen .. having friends who believe in equal rights .. I don’t know how to cope with this situation .. I am very confused