Extreme turn offs...

I used to be able to keep it up all the time no problem even if my wife was just laying there doing nothing... But now if I get an eye roll or sarcasm or no engagement on her part, her trying to control the rhythm etc. I go soft pretty quickly and loose intrest in what I was doing.. men how do you get your SO to keep you interested/play/touch you during intercourse without sounding like an ass hole?