TTC and it's not getting easier.

Vent session, dont judge!

I've been TTC with my SO for over a year and a half. Sad when you lose count! I'm frustrated. I see all these people on social media that are having babies, my friend having a baby who was told she couldn't have any. All these people having babies and here I am. No baby and very broken hearted over it. I just want to cry. I'm afraid to go to the doctor and have them say I have something wrong with me and I'll never have children. I'm afraid I'll go and I'll need extensive fertility treatments, in which my insurance doesnt pay. (Story is: I work for a catholic hospital. So there beliefs screw us over working for them.) I've been hoping it comes very naturally but it hasn't. I've stopped worring and let it be fun, and it still doesnt happen. I'm sure there's light at the end of the tunnel but seeing all these babies on social media and in public makes your insides just ache. And of course, when you start your period, your heart just sinks in your chest.

I know people say to stay positive and it's easy for people to say to go to the doctor but it's not. It's a terrifying reality. But I have faith. No matter how down and out I am about yet another month of no positive result or late period, I have faith and I pray God will bless me soon with the gift I've wanted most.

I had to get that off my chest. 💆‍♀️

Anyone else feeling down lately about TTC?