Since I have received a lot of messages from people asking if I was okay and what I found out I decided to share my day today. I had a Obgyn appointment, just a regular checkup or so I thought. I go back as normal and wait on the nurse to come in, she walks in and hands me pregnancy papers to fill out and a pregnancy book/journal. Then starts to ask me questions about how I’m feeling, such as pregnancy related stuff, so I said wait am I pregnant? ( note Aaron and I have been trying for 5 months ) She said yes, our test showed positive. So me getting all excited thinking of how I am going to announce it and tell Aaron she says let me redo the test to be safe. So my heart begins to sink. She walks back in and says well I’m really confused Bc now it’s negative. We’re both shocked , confused I just wanted to break down and cry right there. So she says I’ll see what the doctor wants to do. So the doctor orders blood work and ultrasound. I go back for the ultrasound basically my last ounce of hope, praying id atleast see a little sack or something. I walk in and the tech says how far along do you think you are? I said honestly I don’t know if I’m even pregnant. I’ve been told both today, your my last hope, I just want to see a baby. So I get on the table and she looks at my uterus and it’s empty, no sack, no baby. Then she checks my ovaries. Everything seemed normal to me I of course don’t know anything about it though. I got myself calmed down some while waiting for the doctor to come back in thinking it just wasn’t my time yet. I didn’t expect the news I got when the doctor came back. She showed me my ultrasound pictures and told me I have PCOS. Never in my life have I had this, never thought I’d end up with it, I had two healthy pregnancies already why would it happen now? Holding back tears got harder and harder to do. My only thought at this point was I’m never going to have another child. Aaron and I will never have one together , I’ll never experience pregnancy with someone. I left and got in the car , tried to get my composure before calling my mom, but that didn’t help, I busted into tears. From my appointment starting with them telling me I was pregnant to the end finding out I have PCOS that’s going to make it even harder to conceive it’s been such a roller coaster. Not to mention seeing all the other moms walking out with ultrasound pictures of their baby. But now that I have had time to think and relax some I know doctors aren’t in control God is. God will bless me. And if he doesn’t he has his reasons not too. But I am going to do everything I can to have my last child. I am going to diet and change my medications, I am going to take prenatals, I am going to go to church. I am going to pray to God everynight not only to bless me with another child but to thank him for everything he has done for me this far! I am so blessed I have Logan and Aubree. God has been more than good to me. But I know my story isn’t over yet. I am not giving up. In 11 days I start college. I am changing my life one step at a time, maybe God knows I need to get through college first. Whatever his plans may be I am going to trust in Him. Along with Him , Aaron , my kids and my family I have all I need to get me through any battle in life!!

Also anyone else with PCOS that has any advice , tips, anything that would help please please comment. I am completely clueless. Thank you!