Baby before marriage?

Question

I grew up in a very catholic household and now that I'm an adult I like to consider myself agnostic/religion free. But, seeing as I'm a people pleaser I don't want to step on anyone's toes(my mother) and disappoint her. I don't know if I want to get married but I do know that I want to have a baby... Soon. Anyone else out there going through the same thing in not wanting to disappoint their family about their life choices?

Answer

In all honesty. Being in both situations. Having a child out of wedlock isn't the best idea because of how much it changes you, things, feelings, perspectives. And a man who isn't committed to a relationship, marriage wise. Is less likely to stick around for all that craziness. You need all the love and support you can get/deserve when you are pregnant. It's not just about what's moral, religious, common, or right. It really just comes down to the basic "it's so hard alone" concept :/

Answer

Personally in the end I think it is anyone's decision on whether they want to have a baby before marriage. But it is best to understand that yes both are two huge commitments in your life if you chose to do these. And I too come from a family of Catholics who think only that you should have sex after, which I think is absurd. Anyways I think when it all comes down in the end do what feels best for you regardless of what others might think or say (I am now realizing with myself right now I have to stop allowing my parents to control my life right now, despite the mistakes that I have made and I still live in their house)

Answer

Many people are able to do it as a single parent, but I think it's best to avoid that. I think 2 parents are the healthiest for a child, not only because the child has more people to depend on... But because it'll help keep you sane. Babies are hard work, and I don't know if I could handle it in the future if not for my husband

Answer

You can always have a ceremony and get married with out doing the legal paperwork.   I was already legally married once and it was a nightmare.   Long run i ended up widowed.   I told my SO i would never sign the legal paperwork again, but id still have a wedding and get married as far as family and religion were concerned.

Answer

I agree with some of the thoughts posted... however in my opinion, I am all for having a baby after marriage. It just makes sense to me that a baby needs a nurturing mother and father who love and support each other and live under the same roof. I too come from a Catholic family and I am proud of it because they instilled these family values into me. I have a loving husband and two kids. I don't think I could raise my boys without my husband! He is my other half! 
I think if you find the right man (usually he ends up having similarities to your own dad), your thoughts may change. Of course this is my opinion and it is your life and decision what you choose.

Answer

My situation is the complete opposite. My husband & I have been together so long & prior to marriage, my family (whom is catholic, but lack practice) have always nagged us about when we were going to have kids. For years this has constantly beem in my ear & put a lot of pressure on my husband & I because no one understood it when I said I wasn't ready. We are going on month 2 TTC. I feel 100 times better about it knowing that I am married though, but I needed to do it at my own pace whether my family liked it or not. They still love me regardless.

Answer

My SO and I are not married and have a 3 year old son. My parents didn't exactly agree with it but its my life and my decision.  I have a ring but I honestly don't know if we ever will get married...and that's ok with me. I know he loves me and I love him. we've been together 6 years this november.

Answer

Not being rude my family was church going people is people some of them  in there eye you have baby and not married make baby a bastard but that just some of my family i on other hand it my life style my life I'm married 23 I been married sense last year  we was together 4 year's first do what make you happy

Answer

I had a baby out of wedlock and my boyfriend and I both come from traditional (but not hardcore) Catholic families. It took time to adjust but everyone was very excited and is still very supportive of us. There are several things you should know however - you should have a stable job/career because you need fulfillment in your life and you also need money and insurance, you should have a partner that is committed or at least know they're not committed so you know what you're getting yourself into and also know that there will be awkward moments down the road. We're still not married but for some reason folks still call him my husband or fiancé - which he isn't. There are greater considerations than just marriage alone.

Answer

My family is really old fashioned and controlling. They are always up in my business. I learned to develop the I do what I want attitude a long time ago. I do what makes me happy and my family no longer tries to control my decisions.

Baby before marriage?

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