Hope where are you ?

D-2 to AF turning up. Every month when the cycle starts again you tell yourself : Let’s do it again it is going to happen this time !! And you feel full of hope.

But then you get disappointed as always. So you do it again ... and again but same thing happens every cycle. I am being emotional today because I know AF will turn up. I have lost hope again.

My boyfriend is 40, I am 36 and are trying for baby #1. I am longing for that positive test, but sometimes it feels like my heart or mental health can’t take it anymore. It is so hard to relax. My BF finds it hard when it is the time to baby dance because of the pressure so often we only do it ones. It’s hard not to get crossed with him but it is not fair on him either. Did it happen to some of you to get your BFP even just after the one time ?

I don’t want to see that blood on my piece of toilet paper again !! It’s so hard. I had to vent like many others before me. How do you cope? 😥😥😥😥