Help.

honestly, i am so depressed. nobody knows. it’s crazy because everyone knows me as bubbly and sweet but they don’t really know. and i don’t know how to reach out a get help. i want to talk to my boyfriend but i’m too scared to say the wrong thing and make him feel like it’s his fault. and thoughts like “what if he doesn’t want me after i tell him how depressed i am?” “what if he just ignores it and doesn’t try to help me?”.. etc always cross my mind when i think about telling him. i’m just silently begging for help and i’m so tired. i’m so tired and i want to give up.. this is too much. i can’t handle it.