Just failed my first <a href="https://glowing.com/glow-fertility-program">IUI</a> and I’m feeling very disappointed and I can feel myself shutting down. I woke up crying and just feeling like it’s never gonna happen for me. I want to be a mother so bad but for some reason I can’t picture myself being pregnant or being a mother. Probably sounds crazy, how can you want something so bad but not picture it?

My bf has a son from a previous relationship ship and I love him, I really do. I babysit him by myself on Friday’s when he is at work. And it just makes me sad sometimes cus I’m here taking care of someone else’s kid when I so desperately want one of my own.

Maybe this is the card I was dealt. Maybe I am just meant to a step mom.

I even quit my job for this <a href="https://glowing.com/glow-fertility-program">iui</a> cus it was too physically demanding. So now I am not pregnant and jobless. Sorry for the rant.

Infertility can be such a lonely journey.