I have a wonderful 4 year old son who desperately wants a sibling. My husband and I have been trying for a year and a half of no luck. Started Clomid is July. I realized this morning that I'm unconsciously building defense mechanisms over the fact that I may never have another child. I've been rationalizing and becoming ok with it and that terrifies me because it will ale the choice to give up so easy. I'm finding myself wondering if I really wanna go back to being awake every 2 hours when my son sleeps 12 glorious hours a night. Do I wanna take away from him to give him another? We will be able to afford so much more with just 1 child. I'm just finding myself really second guessing this decision and I know it's just because I've clearly lost all hope. I'm sorry to post this here, but I have no one to talk to about this that truly understands. Literally everyone I know got pregnant withing 3 months of trying. I'm SO sick of hearing "just relax, it'll happen" "don't think about it and it'll happen"....I just want to scream at the people who say this shit! Do they really think it's helpful? Then there's a lady I work with who offered to be a surrogate. Very sweet gesture, but then she brought it up 5 or 6 more times over a 2 month span...seriously...stop trying to carry my children. I've done it before so clearly I'm capable. Such a shit day...thanks for giving me a place to vent!