It’s about to be 2 years since I had my abortion. I regret my abortion since day one, but bc failed me and I was in no place to have a baby. But ever since I’ve been so upset about babies. I can’t look at anything baby related or ill want to cry. My friend just gave birth early today, and I wanted to cry so bad but I’m not sure why. The whole day I’ve been upset.. She had invited me to her baby shower but I couldn’t go in the baby aisle without feeling emotional. I ended up getting her gift last minute but while I was looking thru all the baby stuff I just kept thinking about what could’ve been with mine.

I had my abortion when I was 5 almost 6 weeks. She/he would’ve been due around Mother’s Day. When it’s close to that day she/he was due I feel so upset. This past Mother’s Day would’ve been her/his first birthday, and i just can’t over it.

I don’t want to be a bad friend and not go see her and her baby. But I know that if I see her baby I’m going to cry. I don’t know what to do. When she first told me she was pregnant it was thru text and I cried.i didn’t see her often, but when I saw her belly I felt my heart drop. I’m sooo happy for her and her new baby, I just can’t seem to be over what I did.