Small victories can mean alot

Long story short, i was sexually abused by my (at that time) stepdad and since then I’ve been terrified of all things sexual and avoided it like the plague. I started dating my boyfriend early 2017 and it took me some time to allow him to even touch me. So late 2017 with alot of help from a therapist, we had sex for the first time (both our first) and since then we have been having “normal” or “vanilla” kind of sex. I never wanted to do anything other than that because of fear flashbacks and insecurity but today i was able to get on top and it was even my idea, which shocked us both. It was so freeing because i NEVER thought i would be able to do that.

I am making this as a pat on the back and a reminder that it’s okay to try new things. Also as reassurances for people who have been sexual abused that you will be able to enjoy sex and you can trust people again. You just need time and the right person to take that step with you, only when YOU are ready. ❤️

I do recommend to talk with a therapist who specifies in sexual abuse. I had no idea how much it would help me!