Consequences in a marriage?

My husband and I have been together over 9 years now and have 4 children. We love each other dearly. I'm curious for those of you in long term relationships...if your partner breaks a "marriage rule" we will call them. For example looking at porn or smoking weed. Or whatever you feel your boundaries are and you are super pissed...do you have "consequences". Not a punishment obviously because we aren't children. I guess I'm just trying to figure out how do or would you react when you are livid and feel betrayed? What do you do? I don't know what to do and not a lot of people understand my feelings because they don't think these things are a big deal. I feel like if you say oh that made me mad and forgive them then it's like well you can just do whatever you want and keep making me changing my beliefs so you can do what makes you happy. Granted, he smoked the weed for pain and it's the first time since we've been together but that was ALWAYS a deal breaker for me. I'm so confused. Thank you in advance for words of wisdom. And obviously counseling is needed.

Edit to add: I don't recall saying in my post I was going to divorce him. I literally asked for advice on how to express my feelings where he could understand how upset I am about breaking marriage boundaries and we can move forward. And if I was considering divorce I wouldn't be talking about counseling. 🤦‍♀️