It gets harder and harder

Every day, week, month, year that goes by that it doesn't happen for me it gets harder and harder to pull through it and pick up the peices and keep trying. The amount of devastation I feel when my AF arrives every month is jus becoming too much to bare. Even the closest people to me don't understand how I feel. The single one person who understands me is my mother. She knows just how badly I want to be someone's mommy. She know how much love I have to offer my own bundle of joy.... and she also knows how much it would kill me if I never had my chance. This topic is such a sensitive topic for me that I can hardly talk about it without crying I have a hard time watching movies with babies cuz it makes me too emotional, I even have a hard time feeling happy for friends or family who are expecting. As bad as that is, it's the truth. Because it kills me and it hurts to the core of me. Then I see these grls jus popping out babies like no tomorrow, but not really wanting another 1. And here I am I can't even bare one. I thought this might have been my chance my time, but nope. The disappointment I feel at the moment is just unbearable. Idk how much I can go through this.