**LONG POST*

13w+1 day and it has become an increasingly sensitive topic about the naming of our child if it is a boy.

A long time ago, when we first starting dating, husband mentioned wanting to name his first born son after himself as it was his dad's name and his grandfather's name. There wasn't much more on the subject and I never agreed to the idea (we were together maybe 6 months when the conversation happened).

Fast forward 8 years and we're telling family that I'm pregnant. Without hesitation, his family starts in on "it better be a boy so you can name it Carlos". Not being shy, I tell them it's not happening and my child will have their own name. Que Husband's family telling me I HAVE to name my son Carlos, and I DON'T have a choice.

I talk to the husband after we leave, and he's somehow under the assumption that our conversation years ago meant I agreed to naming our son after him. We talk in circles, it goes no where, and we drop it. (I was still emotional from being told what to do with my child by people who had no business telling me anything)

This last Saturday, we were visiting and dropping off clothing for our niece (his family, my niece by marriage) as her mother couldn't afford to buy her school clothes.

His sister and brother's girlfriend start asking when we find out gender. After I tell them the date of the scan, they again go into the "I want it to be a boy. It better be a boy." Bullsh*t. 😐😐😐😐😐😐😐

Only this time when I protest, husband joins in saying "you already agreed."

We left shortly after as I was feeling attacked/cornered.

Emotional, I laid it all on the table while driving home.

I tell him it was not okay to join in the heckling and he needs to tell them it's not their business, but ours. I also pointed out that this child is not more his than mine, so I don't see why he feels his name should be on the baby twice. For reference, I have a very unique last name with a lot of history while his is rather common. I was struggling with changing it because all of our credit cards, car loans, and everything else is in my name. He didn't want to hyphenate our names and take mine, so we settled for keeping our own last names and the kids will have 2.

I also reminded him I never "agreed" to naming our first son Carlos, and that there was no way I'd agree to it after 6 months of dating.

Then I mention that I'm feeling pressure from his family because it "better be a boy" and if it is a girl, all I will hear is that it's too bad it wasn't a boy.

He tries saying he's okay if we had all girls, to which I point out he's never said anything when they make their comments.

He's still not understanding, so I tell him we should just name our first son "Kevin" because my dad wants it named after him. My husband says " but that's not what you want to name him". To which I (emotionally) reply " well it obviously doesn't matter what I want to name my son as you and your family are telling me what I have to name him."

I then point out that our dads were playfully arguing over naming our first son with their names, my dad pointing out that he's Kevin and his son is Kevin, with my husband's dad saying it should be Carlos because he is Carlos and my husband is carlos. So I ask why is it okay to disappoint my dad, but not his? He went quiet and we didn't speak for an hour or so.

How do I approach this with him? I am not naming my child, boy or girl, after anyone in our families. I personally think it's a sexist tradition where the family didn't have an heir until they had a son, and he doesn't want to name it Carla or Carlos if it's a girl.

I need help. At this point, I'm feeling so cornered that I want to go have this baby in the woods, raise it alone until it's 1 and their name has been established. How do I have this conversation with my husband?

Help!