It’s so hard..

Hey .. I feel lonely today. As I am sure a lot of us are in this adventure ...

I call it an adventure because I need it to feel exciting again as it was a year ago when it first started ! When me and my boyfriend decided to start a family.

At this point I am waiting for the exciting to happen. For a baby to choose me as his or her mother! Someone browsed.. chose me and changed their mind .. maybe because I wouldn’t be a good mother or maybe it wasn’t ready.

I saw that second line on my test .. I was ready. But my baby wasn’t.

A year into this adventure and I’m reading about other people’s adventure, I see movies , tv shows that never got me thinking before and now I’m catching myself crying at a Friend’s episode where Chandler and Monica are struggling to have a baby. And so am I.

I need to « let go » « stop thinking about it » « it will happen when it’ll happen »

I know. I know and it would be the same advice I would give to a friend if I didn’t know how much it hurts to look at a test and waiting for the second line to suddenly appear.

I try to stay positive, to enjoy the last time I have a wine for a while or the last time I go for a week end with just me to take care of...

Today I wish I had someone else to take care of.. I feel lonely today.

Baby dust to all the ladies who read this and can relate ! No matter if it has been 2 months, a year or 5 years .. Because we all share the same emotions and the same tears sometimes when thinking positively is just too hard !

Baby dust to all the amazing moms to be ! ❤️