I just need to vent ..... 😭

Its been a year and 3 months since i had a mc... Its been a year since we started trying again with no luck.... This was my first month of using fertomid 50mg from day 3 to 7... I did not use opks or temp and did not even go to my ob for a scan... I am at a point where i dont want bad news any more .. i know i ovulated beacose I felt it.. but the past year is just my luck that i won't get pregnant beacose i think to much about it... How do I stop thinking about it ? How do i just relax and forget about it ? I am so afraid of getting pregnant again and loosing the baby again... That is my worst fear... Ever to have it happen twice scares me to death