Why is it so debilitating sometimes to do even simple tasks.

I want to be normal. I don't want a 5 minute task like feeding my dogs causing me so much pain I can't move for 15-20 minutes afterwards. I am in consent pain. I want to work out I want to go for a run I would even settle for a walk. I want to be able to clean my home daily or even weekly pain free. I hate that I get one room clean and I can't move far from bed the next day. I want to go out and be social I want to be able to do simple things like make a doctor's appointment without anxiety that makes me hide and put off the task. I want to live I just want to live instead of feeling like I am dying. I want to be the amazing mom I know I could be for my kids not the sick mom the mom my kids have to feel like they need to help and care for. I hate that everything sets my nerves on fire every sound like needles running across my skin. I just cry because I can't do anything else and crying even hurts. There is no pain relief in basic medicines, even alcohol doesn't numb it anymore. I want to have everything in order, I want to be fun. I tired of hurting and not being able to achieve basic functions. A shower is so much, I loved to cook but now unless I have a chair I can't even stand long enough to cook a meal let alone the dishes piling up. Driving hurts, everywhere everything hurts always. Why, why does my body hate itself so much. I would give anything for a day to be pain free. I am so tired my sleep is exhausting. I am not the person I want to be I am not the person I could be. I am alive but not living. I hate my body for being this way, I don't know how to fix it I have tried so much.my husband doesn't understand how it could really be this bad. I just want to scream all the time the pain is so overwhelming. An ER would simply say I am try to get pain pills, and I am afraid doctors won't listen. I feel trapped and stuck unable to move unable to live unable to be me. I don't want to eat, I don't want to do anything I just want the pain to go away. I am so lost.