Ok so the past few days almost a week I've been stressing out by something. I believe I've stressed over it before but wasn't sure about the emotional or physical attractions towards women. But now I do know that I don't have either of those.

This time I'm stressing over it again because I felt super nervous around this new girl at work. She's so pretty and she's actually nice to me. I get really really nervous and really shy when she's around and I feel like I kind of ruin the starting conversation and just end it.

I was thinking maybe I am just nervous because I don't have friends and I can never make friends that I can keep. But at the same time, she's really pretty! Maybe I'm just intimidated. Maybe it's just a girl crush. I don't want to romance her or anything.

I feel like I really appreciate a women's body but never feel like I want to do anything with them. If you know what I mean and sorry if that's tmi. But I still get a nervous feeling when or if I see one. I work at a clothing store and I often work in the fitting room. NOT TO BE A CREEP!! But sometimes people like to walk out and look in the big mirror or show their friends and we sell clothes that are cropped and figure fitting. I'm not checking them out but I do compare my body to theirs. Like; "man I wish I had a waist/figure like that" or "I wish my boobs would be a little bigger so they could do that"

So maybe I'm just doing that with the new girl. She's really skinny and petite and I've always wished I looked like that. A part of me sometimes thinks thats what my boyfriend wished I looked like because all his exes were short and skinny.

All this stress is making me feel different towards my boyfriend. I love him so very much and he's always turned me on but lately I haven't felt the same when I look at his body because I'm so worried. There's nothing wrong with being bi, I'm just worried that if I am things just wouldn't be the same. I love him and I want to spend the rest of my life with him, I just don't want to miss something in my life.

Can someone please give me some advice? I want to talk to him about it. I don't think he will react badly because we've talked about how my freshman or sophomore year of high school I was wondering if I was bi or bicurious. But I've never felt the want to kiss a girl or just be with or romantically. I'm sorry this was long but I'm kind of scatter brained and just a little freaked out. I just want to be with my boyfriend. I still feel physical and emotional attraction towards men. My boyfriend especially. It's just hard to feel that right now because I can't stop thinking about it

Also please don't think I'm hating on the fact that what if I am gay or bisexual. There's nothing wrong with it, I just don't want to lose my love. And I tend to stress a lot over things