Hello <a href="https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.glow.android.eve">Eve</a> Family,

I am currently six weeks pregnant.

I have been having lots of issues with my boyfriend lately he is EMOTIONALLY AND PSYCHOLOGICALLY ABUSIVE towards me. I know this and I identify this. I try to be patient and help him grow and mature more. As well as manage his anger better but nothing seems to be working and every single altercation/fight concludes in it being my fault, me being dramatic, me being crazy.

However, hopefully there are some women who can relate, I just can’t leave him. I’m scared to leave him. He even commented today that if I leave then he will never exist in my life again.

I thought that the pregnancy would reach him and he would be gentler and more kind with me.

However he has been especially cruel to me. Mutual friends of ours tell him all the time that he has to take care of me and make sure I’m happy because any kind of stress can harm the baby.

He has broken my BEATS headphones by smashing them on a countertop, my polaroid camera after whipping it at a wall. Over simple arguments he gets extremely riled up and cannot manage his anger at all. I am used to relationships where there are fights and arguments and hashing things out to reach a compromise or even makeup sex.

With him he takes every argument or even me voicing my concerns as a direct attack on him.

Then he will return after I’ve stopped crying or having a panic attack and ask me if I’ve “calmed down” or if I’m over it. Then he proceeds to blame his actions and his anger on me being a dramatic bad person and saying that I have to change.

Today I reached what feels like a breaking point. He was saying he was hungry so I stepped off to get us some food and drinks so I came home and gave them to him. He proceeded to open my drink and I told him wait that one was for me. He said I don’t care if this ones yours and proceeded to chug about half of it down. I was super confused because I felt like he was doing it to bother me on purpose. All I wanted all friggin day was a carton of orange juice, to myself. He starts lecturing me saying I’m selfish how he sacrifices everything for me and I can’t give him my orange juice. So I walk away from him because I am a very sensitive person and he tends to say really mean thinga which I can’t handle at all. As soon as I turn my back I feel cold sticky orange juice splash on my hair and my cute outfit.

In that moment I have never felt so much like a piece of worthless garbage.

I immediately said we are done here and packed my suitcases. I don’t know what to do or where to go next. My family live in another country. I have no friends or confidantes here except for him. There are tons of other similar stories that is just too much to type out. I am considering abortion now which is big for me because I would normally never dare even think that but I truly don’t know what to do.

This is abusive right? Pouring juice on me?

Later he comes into the room and starts harassing me he pinned me down and said he won’t leave me alone unless I clarify to him if I am calmed down or if I am leaving. I didn’t say anything I just cried I felt so helpless lifeless and weak. I even said God please why. He started saying you make me laugh and starts laughing at my tears and mocking my cries. I couldn’t look at him. How could someone be so cruel?