I have very bad anxiety and I’m starting to develop depression. When I get anxious my hands shake and I have to fidget with something. If I don’t I just keep shaking. The anxiety came from a person who I thought I trusted, an adult, my own COACH. Every since I started competition gymnastics(age 8) this coach always held me back and never let me progress. As I got older,it got worse. Around age 11, she verbally abused me. Telling me you can’t do it, you won’t get far, no one thinks you’re good, you are the worst gymnast ever. She would tell me if I did something wrong, I could break something or even KILL myself! Every night when I got home, I would cry myself to sleep. I didn’t know what to do! At age 13, she told the team she has cancer. We were all devastated, yes me too. We decided at our home gym to fundraise some money for her. We earned about $200 dollar over a 3 day competition that was in February for her. Around the end of April was probably the worst part of my life. It was about two weeks until my state competition and our coach decided to start her own gym...somewhere else. She invited half of our gym to her new one...I wasn’t one of them. On my level 6 team(the levels are ranged from 1 to 10) there were only 3 left and we started out with 10. I felt so betrayed by what she did! And to make matters worse, she LIED about having cancer! She used the money we raised for her to start her own gym, along with stealing money. The remaining team left still had to compete at states. When we went, the coach was there with her own team. I was the only one my age who competed that session. It was just so awkward and upsetting seeing her. As the years went by, I’ve slowly been getting better. I still have my anxiety and I do cry a lot, but it’s been getting better. I’m almost 16. I’ve found different ways to calm myself down. I have my friends at my dance classes to talk to(I dance as well), I have stress balls and my most recent thing...drawing. It has helped so much!

It still sucks that the person I thought I trusted, betrayed me and my team. And she causes so many of my problems, but I’m getting better😌