Hate feeling hopeless đ©
1. THE NBD STAGE
This is how we all go into the 2ww. Positive. Hopeful. But, and especially if itâs not your first one, you also know to keep your cool. Itâll be what itâll be. Thereâs nothing more you can do at this point. Itâs now in Godâs or the Universeâs or anyone elseâs hands but your own. Youâve done all you can do, so now you just wait. No big deal. This stage usually lasts the first day, or maybe a full 36 hours. But thatâs it.
2. OMG I JUST KNOW IâM PREGNANTÂ STAGE
This stage usually begins on the second or third day. You just know that youâre little embaby (the loving term you now call a fertilized egg) has found its way into your uterus lining and is busy making its home there. You tell yourself and your partner that you really think youâre pregnant. And you desperately find pregnancy symptoms in your daily routine:
Oh my God, I farted! It must be the baby.
I had a dream last night (doesnât matter about what). It must be the baby.
I just yawned. Wow, this first trimester exhaustion is serious!
3. UGH, I JUST DONâT THINK IâM PREGNANT STAGE
After a few days of convincing yourself that youâre definitely, definitely pregnant, you begin to doubt that you are. You just donât âfeelâ it. Of course, at this point itâs impossible to feel anything, but you know that if you were pregnant, youâd be one of those women who just knew. But you donât feel anything, and so you must not be pregnant.
4. GOOGLE IS MY BFF STAGE
Itâs probably only five, maybe six days, since your attempt and you canât do a single thing in the world except Google everything. Whatâs the earliest you can take a pregnancy test? When does implantation occur? How soon after implantation can you get a positive pregnancy test? Earliest symptoms of pregnancy â no, not at six weeks, I want the symptoms for three weeks one day! Oh, there arenât any. You read pages and pages of fertility boards from 2009, even though you know treatments are totally different now. You search for any woman who had a dream like you did with the color tourmaline in it during their 2ww and ended up being pregnant.
5. THE BOYCOTT GOOGLE STAGE
You realize all this Googling isnât really helping, so you quit it. This lasts for an hour. Maybe two.
6. OK, LETâS TAKE A HOME PREGNANCY TEST STAGE
Itâs way too early to get a positive response, but that one woman on the 2ww message board from 2011 got her first positive pregnancy test eight days into the wait, so if youâre pregnant, you will too. You donât. But the test could be wrong. Itâs too soon. No big deal. You shouldnât have tested anyway. I mean, if you could find out sooner than the 2ww, the doctors would have you come in sooner. They are doctors, after all. That woman on the 2ww message board from 2011 was probably a lying troll anyway. Youâll never admit it, but later you dig the test out of the bathroom garbage to see if it changed. It didnât.
7. GLOOM AND SELF PITY STAGE
At this stage, youâve only got a few days left until your blood test. Youâve taken more than a handful of home pregnancy tests, maybe even bought them in bulk on Amazon. You wonder why you even bother. Why you put yourself through this. AGAIN. You think of ways to escape your reality. Maybe I should go live in a foreign country for a year doing something meaningful. Ugh, but itâs just all so unfair! Jill has FIVE kids and she doesnât even appreciate motherhood. Really, who the heck has five kids these days? Whatâs wrong with me? What did I ever do to deserve this?
8. TOTAL INSANITY
You walk into your blood test feeling 100% insane. The last two weeks have made you question everything about your mental state. You tell yourself, like you did that first day, that itâs (still) out of your hands. You also tell yourself that youâll be okay no matter what the test reveals. But you wonât be. You didnât get into this to get a negative. You want out of this cycle of insanity so badly. If that test is negative, youâll relive these two weeks again. And each time will pluck more bits of yourself from you
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