Jealous of husband sleeping, he’s jealous of my bond with our baby.


Do any other breastfeeding moms get super jealous of their husband/SO sleeping through the night? My hubby doesn’t even wake up when our LO cries at night. Then when I get back in bed, he’s snoring (or worse - grinding his teeth) and it’s hard to get back to sleep for me. Sometimes I just glare at him as he sleeps. I can’t wait until we start giving her bottles when she’s a bit older (she’s only 3 weeks right now, want to wait until 6 weeks), and maybe I can force him to do the night feedings on weekends when he doesn’t have to work.

Even when she wakes up in the morning though around the same time as he’s getting ready for work, he still doesn’t get up to check on her unless I ask him to, and then he gets grouchy about it.

Of course, I knew that this would be the case when I decided to breastfeed. I’m also really lucky and she only wakes up once or twice a night. That doesn’t make it suck any less though to see my husband sleeping so peacefully when sleeping was one of my favourite things before and now I can’t have uninterrupted sleep.

On the flip side, I think he’s jealous of me! The other day he was holding her and she started crying, so he handed her to me and she settled right down. He seemed a little upset about it and when our cat came and cuddled him right after, he said “at least you like me.”

You can’t have it both ways. You can’t sleep through the night, not feed or change her (yesterday I changed all her diapers, even after he got home), and then complain when she wants her mom. I love her cuddle time with me, but I definitely have to “put in the work” for it. He also assumes all crying means she’s hungry, so he doesn’t even try to soothe her other ways (rocking, singing to her, changing her, using a pacifier, etc), he just hands her to me.

Anyway, I’m going to discuss this with him today. I really do think things will get better when he can feed her too. I think he feels a little useless right now and we need to figure out a better way to split the responsibilities so I don’t start feeling resentful and he can better bond with our LO.

Anyone else have/had a similar problem? How did you solve it?