Contentment

Kaylah

Ladies, I have been stuck so badly in the comparison trap. Hubby and I have been TTC for nearly two years now. We had a MC in late November of last year. We've paid off a lot of debt, but at the rate we're going we won't have student loans paid off in this lifetime. My career isn't where I want it to be. I'm seeing people around me having babies, buying huge houses, getting new cars, getting new jobs, etc. I've been in a terrible funk wondering why we just can't get ahead. For the past two weeks, every time I turn on the radio or open my email, there is something about being content with what you have. I have felt such deep conviction each time. I feel like God is telling me that having a baby, having things, having more money, having less debt-- that's not going to satisfy me. None of those are bad things, but if I'm trying to fill my heart with them, all of those things are going to be empty when I get them. The only thing that is going to satisfy me is Jesus. I've always known that intellectually, but it finally clicked in my heart. I've been praying for joy since we lost our baby, and now I'm seeing that my heart has not been postured to receive joy. I'm now trying to release my death-grip on all of my dreams and truly trust God with whatever He wants to do with my life.