Does anyone suffer from OCD and or Anxiety?

I told my husband last night that I was thinking of going to the Dr. Because I've been having suicidal thoughts, along witg my anger/anxiett fro. things not being clean, and being mean to my children because of it and them not deserving it. He says well you could try getting up earlier and going to bed earlier so you wake up before the boys and have time to yourself. Grwat suggestion, what he doesn't know is that it took a lot for me tell him how I've been feeling or to even get to the pount of wanting to go to the Dr. for help. I don't know if I have a mild case of OCD, or anxiety only if I'm bipolar or just a bitch because I'm always irritable or angry especially if my house gets out of wack. I'm a stay at home mom to two boys, 2 and almost 4 year olds. I feel like a failure as a mom and wife. My husband doesn't understand mental illness, but it runs in my family. I'm scared as hell that ill have to be dependent on a drug the rest of my life to be normal. I guess I just needed to vent or see if anyone has been through something similar or has any advice. I just hate myself, and I have no close friends or family. Oother than my husbands which I love but I would never feel comfortable talking to them about this.