Today, while exiting the Starbucks parking lot, someone was trying to back out of a space and I drove passed. Simple mistake. She would have been at fault. But that was irrelevant in comparison to what came. She rolled down her window and shouted, "Now why the hell would you keep driving when I'm trying to pull out?? FATASS! That's what you are! Fatty." I had my son in the car and I was shocked. I typically have a temper from hell, but I conjured up the patience and ignored her completely. It hurt though. I didn't tell anyone it hurt, but it did. I have gained 170 lbs. I was once a huge fitness buff. The one that preached "no excuses!!" I went from 150 to 320 in a matter of two years. I had my beautiful son and fell into an abusive relationship and I guess...let myself go. I'm not writing this because I want motivation. That's what kills me...is people who try to give motivational speeches. Then when I don't want to hear them, I don't care about seeing reality. Wrong and wrong. I knowwww I'm "fat". I know it needs to change. I know I am not healthy. I just can't find the motivation. Between lack of time and bouts of depression, it's crumbling. Then a few hours ago, our water is out (we have a well). So, despite me spending $200 on ONLY fresh produce and chicken/fish... I can't cook any of that. I went to Walmart and got my son frozen nuggets so I don't have dishes to do which would further the mess I can't clean. A lady came up to my son who was making silly faces and said, "You're such a cutie! Tell Mommy you need some healthy veggies! Yummy!" And winked at me. Like it was some kind of joke. In sum...I'm writing this because karma has caught me. I stood in the mirror with my 6 pack and took 20 selfies while low key shaming larger people. Now I'm living it. I get dirty looks. I get pity. Everyone assumes I'm dirty and stuff fried chicken down my throat (per people's words). And it hurts. It's shameful. So, if I have ever made anyone else feel like that, I'm sorry. There is NEVER any excuse to shame and berate other people.