MIL Comment...About No Sex?

Question

Hello all!
So my MIL and I were discussing a family friend and she made a comment that made me a little concerned.
She said “Well if a wife isn’t having sex with her husband, she can’t really expect him to stay...”
My husband and I haven’t been having sex since I became pregnant because of my extreme morning/all day sickness. I do other stuff for him when I can but we’ve never gone more the 2 weeks without doing some sort of physical activity since we’ve been together (3 years in March). 
I’m really hoping my sex drive comes back in the second semester, but what about the times when I can’t have sex...like after I’ve had my baby! My body is extremely sensitive and I’m nervous as this is my first baby!
My husband isn’t the type to cheat and honestly doesn’t even watch porn...the comment really threw me off and I was a bit perturbed by it.
I don’t think that you should cheat or leave if your wife won’t have sex with you.

Answer

Well, don’t you remember in the vows where it said, “For better or worse, in sickness and in health, but only if she puts out regularly”???

She’s full of crap. What if he needed a surgery? Or if he got (God forbid) a raging stomach flu??? You think he should have sex with you in ANY condition, just because he wears a ring? 
Things happen. You’re married. You love each other... through thick and thin. Shut up, MIL.

Answer

My mom says the same thing. My brother told her that his wife didn’t feel comfortable about her body and didn’t want to have sex until she lost a certain amount of weight. My mom said well how do you expect your husband to stay if you’re not having sex? I told her it took me a full 8 weeks to recover from a very painful vaginal birth and tears/stitches. The first thing that she said was, “omg your poor husband must have struggled without sex for that long.” Like ummm no. He did fine and but vagina is okay now.  Thanks for asking. 😑 Sex isn’t the only thing that drives our relationship. We’ve been together 10 years married for 2.5. No cheating whatsoever.

Answer

She’s an idiot. I’m on pelvic rest since 10 weeks. My husband probably won’t get sex until next year. He complains but he would never take that as a free ticket to cheat. Any decent man would and any woman that thinks “aww poor husband” needs to realize sex isn’t the only thing in a marriage.

Answer

Hey relationship is not all about sex I am so sorry to tell you that but it’s not all about sex. And when women are pregnant they’re more likely to lose their sex drive my fiancé has gone through two pregnancies Sophia with me and he has just learned that there is times that I don’t feel like having sex and I’m in pain and he considers my feelings no he’s not gonna go find it somewhere else and first off if he did then that’s up to him but I mean I’m not gonna go find it somewhere else

Answer

Im sorry that seems pretty stupid to me, sex is not the only reason youre together im assuming and there will be times when you or he cant or dont feel good enough and your partner should be understanding. Sex and physical expressions of love are important but that shouldnt be the foundation of a relationship nor the only reason to be faithful. Obviously if its been years or something and no effort made than that might be different( in my opinion cheating is never ok but i could understand leaving) but youre pregnant and its uncomfortable and temporary!

Answer

You're growing an entire human, that is more important than sex!

Answer

You’re newly pregnant! Her comment is probably stemming from just not having sex with your SO in general. It is an odd comment to make though. I mean if course everyone has needs. But surely your situation is a exception currently haha! As long as your husband understands, that’s all that matters!

Answer

I don’t think she meant it during pregnancy. I think she meant in general when a wife doesn’t sleep with her husband, for an extended period of time. Sex is an important part of marriage so if you go years without it, someone’s going to stray. Sorry but the truth.

Answer

It was probably just a little general comment that I wouldn’t read too much into. She (hopefully!) doesn’t discuss your sex life with your husband so she probably has no idea she’s made you worried. She probably thinks you’re having sex because you’re pregnant so considers you to be ‘safe’ so she can make those comments lol. I agree that in a good relationship a husband would be very unlikely to leave if there was no sex for a while. Sex is important and is sometimes the cause of a marriage breakdown but that’s when there are other worrying reasons for the lack of sex and it’s long-term, not just because the wife doesn’t feel up to it for a while. Honestly, just laugh and ignore it, I’m sure your husband is supportive. If you want to engage in sexual activity, there ate lots of other things you can do like oral sex that don’t involve penetration if thats the problem. Don’t worry :) x

Answer

I don't think you should deny your partner long term in general, but pregnancy and sickness are different. My SO was really good about it after I gave birth (tried at 6 weeks but was too painful, resumed around 9 weeks), but seems a bit airheaded this time around, keeps asking right after he must have heard me puking in the bathroom or less than a minute after handing me my sleeping pill🤦🏼‍♀️

MIL Comment...About No Sex?

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