This isn't the first time we've ever had a massive row like this. Once before he accused me of flirting with my ex on Snapchat ( which actually I was texting my ex telling him to fuck off on Snapchat) he assumed something different and we started to have a huge row and one night he pushed me and then pushed me up against the wall putting his hand in my chest ( to this day he denies doing that saying he only grabbed my clothes) which is a lie. We finished once for like 3 months , i in that space of time went out , got really drunk every day and I slept with a footballer on my celebrity vip models night out. (This was 2nd time I slept with him) i met him first way before I knew this partner. I kept that only between me and the footballer and my best friend who was present there that night) and I didn't want my ex finding out. But when we got back he seen a foto of me and footballer in a hotel and went mad. I ended up lying to him denying everything , but he ended up calling my best friend which she told him the whole truth, he txt the footballer and he also told him the truth... So I had no choice but to tell him in the end . He never broke up with me and stayed but few months down the line he left me a day before Christmas because of that reason... we got back again a month later and im currently 17 weeks pregnant.

My family dosent help me at all, i live with him, i don't drive , Don't work ( I left my last year of uni to be with him and the baby) done what he asked me to do ( instead I was going to have the baby at uni and do it all there) but no h3 wanted me to move in and he said he will make everything happen and make sure it's all ok. But aince then he's been drinking every day.. one beer after work or 2 or 3.. He plays cricket every weekend. I dont see him from 9am till 9pm because he likes to have a drink after a game. Tonight he came back and ate in the kitchen while not saying hello to me or nothing. He sat in the kitchen watching a movie on his fone ... He didn't wanna come in because he dosent like what I watch.. with my hormones I totally flipped , we've stopped having sex for like a month cause he's been "too tired " and then he got an infection and his thing started to bleed . He totally flipped at me tonight when i said that in gonna get a taxi to my dad's house cause I don't feel good here atm. He took prawn crackers packet and threw it at me saying take all your ahit and don't come back. Youve done fuck all sitting in this house all day, couldn't even wash 3 plates ! (Let me tell You, im having bladder infections non stop giving me serious pain, i have huge back aches as I've got a tilted pelvis , and I have a 4cm lump in my groin.so doing loads of house work is really hurtfull on my body) I cleaned the whole house top to bottom 3 days ago and he calls me lazy cunt ,, that there is nothing in good at ,, the only thing he knows im good at is sex... which won't be happening anymore because he probobly got stds of me since he is bleeding down there and that i fucked guys behind his back when we weren't together. Hee said that he wishes he never met me, that i should leave, he's gonna be so much happier without me. I asked why is he still with me if that's what he thinks of me. He said cause I love you ....

I decided to stay because I don't want this to end. And I just sat in the next room by myself crying and having panic attacks while he's in next getting drunk. He later came in and tried to hug me, saying "You need to wise up and stop doing this to us" blaming it on me ...

I have my 20th weeks scan in 2 weeks... And I feel like telling my doctor/midwife that he is causing me so much pain and how verbally abusive he is to me. But im so scared :(