Terrible sex

Back story. My husband and I got married young and after a very short period of time..I love him very much but the sex has just gotten worse and worse over the last two years😩 like I’m at my wits end..I’ve expressed that I’m not satisfied, asked him to go down on me more often, more foreplay etc. told him that before we met I had kind of become interested in the bdsm lifestyle but totally understood if he wasn’t like all about it, asked if we could bring some toys in the bedroom (I enjoy butt stuff, he doesnt so I wanted to get a plug and thought it was a happy medium) he essentially told me that he thought that was kinda gross too and when I went out and got one for myself anyway instead of being nice with it he just tried to shove it up in there without any lube or foreplay or anything. Like sex is only about him getting to his pleasure and he doesn’t want or like to take the time to get me to mine. We have other issues and I think that’s just due to the fact that we barely knew each other before marrying but the terrible sex is just making me so frustrated with it all..I’m about to throw in the towel..please tell me I’m not being dramatic or irrational..