I’ve tried so hard to stay strong throughout this whole pregnancy. I’m 38 weeks pregnant and I haven’t had a good day since day 1.

I was already going through a lot especially with my family before I found out I was pregnant. My boyfriend was the only person that could really cheer me up on my bad days, he was always there for me when I needed him. When I found out I was pregnant I was 16, yes a lot of you may say I’m so young. I know I’m very young. I’m aware that I am. I told my sister first and she was supportive and said she’ll help me tell my parents. As soon as they found out, their hearts were crushed and I felt so bad, I felt like I absolutely failed them and crushed their hopes and dreams for me. My father wanted me to get an abortion but I refused, I couldn’t do it and would never think about having an abortion. My parents slowly started to accept it and got over it after a few weeks. I still attended school even whilst having morning sickness, my mum wanted me to stay home because of how sick I was. Within the first few weeks, I found out my boyfriend has cheated on me at a party. I was crushed, hurt and my heart was absolutely torn. I loved him so much and it hurt me even more knowing he did this whilst I was at home sick and pregnant. I went weeks without eating my properly though I would try and try. I would cry every night and I never have felt more depressed in my life. Every bit of happiness I had was drained and I barely wanted to leave my room. I took him back after he had apologised, I love him more than anything and I believe in second chances. Til this day we are still together. I have forgiven him but trusting him again is a different story. I suddenly started losing friends and people would stop talking to me. Already feeling betrayed , the only friends I had leaving me made it harder for me. I started getting bullied online about my pregnancy and still, today, I get bullied. Mostly by people who don’t know me well and just bully me because of what others say. I always go online and see horrible posts about me and comments would mention my name. I deactivated so I can stay away from it all and focus on my pregnancy. It’s so hard because I feel so lonely and worthless now. I’ve been cheated on, ditched and I am being bullied & teased. All of them, for nothing so the only answer to why they all have occurred to me was because I’m worthless... I try so hard to stay strong, I try so hard not to cry everyday and night so my baby doesn’t feel a thing, I try so hard to have a peaceful pregnancy and no matter what I do. This feeling always creeps up on me. I pray one day I can feel positive and get through tough times. I just feel so depressed and lonely right now. I don’t know why me. Trying so hard to pretend i’m not upset is the hardest thing to do. I just want to be a happy mother for my unborn child. I want to be able to raise her without being sad. I need somebody. The only thing keeping me strong here is my baby. I try so hard.