I'm just venting so I won't be answering any questions that's why I decided to post as anonymous. I'm just laying here in pain wondering when God will bring my husband back home at night since he works at night and during the day I barely see him for 30 minutes each day. I'm in so much pain emotionally. I don't want to wait on God's timing. I'm so tired of waiting. Our daughter is due in less than 10 weeks and my husband barely gets enough time once every two weeks for the doctors appointments. My heart can't take this anymore. The anger towards God is building up. I don't want to question Him on why He's allowing this to happen and not providing a way out of this loneliness. I feel like I will be and am the worst mother in the world. I am tired of fighting this depression. I am tired of being alone. I just want my husband to be able to come home at night and hold me. This is not what I expected my pregnancy to be like. The pain is so deep in my heart. My husband is trying so hard to provide for us and he feels like he's failing me because he knows how bad this loneliness hurts. I just don't feel like I can take it anymore. I feel like a failure.