Back in October when i was 16- i went through a bad break up with my ex. I was so depressed and felt lonely. I ended up meeting a guy online who told me he was 23. I ended up meeting up with him to go cinema and ended up letting him finger me. At first I tried to stop him but I eventually let him. I don’t know what tf is wrong with me😭. I ended up moving his hand and started crying because i felt like I was cheating on my ex and i felt really bad. Then after the movie he kept trying to kiss me but i turned my head. He was just acting so touchy . After that we went to McDonald’s and he kept calling me his baby girl and stuff like that. I felt so awkward and embarrassed cos this guy looked like he was about 40. But cos i was so desperate i still continued to see him. I told him i was hurting because my ex recently dumped me, he was treating me really nicely and buying me things & talking to me all day. Stuff like that and it was really helping me get over my ex. It was a really emotional time in my life. I met him about 3 times. The second time we met he bought me underwear and we went to this big park in a area which was very far from where i live ( im stupid i know). I just feel so lucky to be alive tbh. Anything could have happened. Anyway we were walking then he started kissing my neck and again i tried to stop him because 1. He literally made me sick & 2. I just wanted my ex. He began touching my breast and going into my knickers and I really just let him. Eventually i stopped him and fixed my clothes then started walking again. I was silent then i told him i wanted to go toilet. I started crying in the toilet. I swear I regret everything. After i left the toilet i told him i wanted to go home. I didn’t know where i was . I had to rely on him to drive me to the train station. In the car i texted my ex and told him i loved him but he just ignored me. I started crying in the car and the man hugged me. At first he was comforting me then he started touching me sexually again. But this didn’t stop me from meeting up with him again. I met up with him one more time and he took me to a hotel. He bought me kfc, medicine for my cold & underwear. He said he wanted to take pictures of me in the underwear he bought me. And I LET HIM😒😡. Thinking back i cant stop thinking how stupid i was. After that. He said he wanted to shave my pubic hair because it would make us more closer and intimate. (We were in a sort of relationship btw. I had no feelings for him but i agreed to be his ‘girlfriend’ because i was feeling desperate for love i guess idk. Tbh i just wanted my ex). I let him use shaving powder on my vagina. I let him wash it off. And OF COURSE he started playing with my vagina again. & i did get turned on. He licked me out. He wanted to have sex but I stopped him. That’s one thing I just couldn’t bring myself to do. & he got angry at me and told me im childish & unfair. I told him i wanted to go home. Luckily the hotel was in an area not far from me. So i knew where i was . He drove me near my house anyway but i didnt let him see where i live and i gave him a fake post code.

Anyway after that day he sent me the pictures he took of me and we stopped talking. Now 10 months later the police have found out about everything and they want to question me. My parents found out but havent read the chat. Idk what to do. They’re here now im scared. They’re literally down stairs telling my mum everything. I can’t even lie my way out of this because they have evidence. I don’t want to be involved in this stupid case. I accept that i made stupid mistakes in the past. I don’t want my parents digging up my past. It was such a dark moment in my life.

Update-

The police told me he raped a 12 year old. So he is now in custody. It was so embarrassing and they’re coming back to talk to me again tomorrow. & I finally found out that he’s really 48.

& thanks for the replies I can’t comment because this is an embarrassing topic. But yeah I partly told the police what happened. They read our text messages and saw pictures anyway. I still felt embarrassed to say certain things in front of my mum though. But yeah im not the only one they had a list of about 30 different names. And apparently he has 4 phones. & he targets young girls ages 14-17. He also apparently gets with single mothers to do things with their daughters. Im 17 now and this was definitely a wake up call. I’ll never do something like this again. I mean I learned my lesson last year. But the police coming here asking for a statement really put the icing on the cake tbh.

Kinda wish he deleted our conversation 🙄. But oh well whats done is done