I don’t have an eating disorder but i have thought about it. I think about it a lot recently. I was always overweight growing up and then i hit my growth spurt in middle school and thinned out. All of my family was telling me how good I looked since I was finally thin. But It has been a few years since the growth spurt and I feel like i’m going back to old body which I really don’t want to do. I don’t play any sports but I do ballet which keeps me active but I do not have the typical dancers body. I’m 5’4 and 135 lbs which really isn’t overweight but I hate looking at myself in pictures or even sometimes in the mirror. I have been laughed at for forever for not doing a “real sport” by my friends and i just laugh along but the truth is it has been really hurtful for a long time. I watched a youtubers (Arden Rose’s) eating disorder and de talked about how she only ate a granola bar and an apple everyday and i remember thinking “Oh thats a good idea! I could do that!” and then immediately I realized what I was thinking. In school they teach us about eating disorders and how dangerous they can be but sometimes I don’t care about that consequences as long as I can be thin. And I tried it for a day but I couldn’t stop myself from eating. I just eat when i’m bored and never when i’m hungry which has been a problem for me for most of my life. I know I do it but I don’t care in the moment and only hate myself after finishing a tub of ice cream or finishing a bag of chips. I don’t really know if I have a real eating disorder I just really needed to let this out ❤️