So me and him (let's call him X) broke up 2 weeks ago. X just basically didn't want to be with me anymore after being together for a year and a half. I of course was heartbroken and that we were going to try to be best friends like we were before we dated. It was hard a'f, the numerous time we accidentally do the things we use to do when we were together. The habit is still there...

Earlier in the week he has just started talking to someone else... Later he comes into my room with an anxiety attack telling me he had unprotected sex with someone (that same person he has just started talking to) who had slept with 5 guys before him. (Note: me and X live together) X was freaking out and telling me how sorry he was. (Now let me tell you, he is a huge germaphobe. He has major fears of diseases and STDs/STI, he told me how he had to pour hydrogen peroxide on his penis after he came home) I didn't have much to say cause I was pretty shocked. Wednesday, he took her out on a date (the girl he hooked up with). He came home afterwards and played on his PS4 then later that night coming in to my room paranoid about having herpes, he kept trying to observe around his genitals to make sure he didn't have anything unusual. He bursted out crying in tears in front of me (this was the first time in a little over 2 years I've seen him cry like this, so that through me off so bad), he was telling me about how the whole time he was out with her it felt wrong to him, he regrets the things he said when we broke up, he realized after being with someone else that it was me all along that he wanted. He was so scared about the possibility of contracting something, X was crying and crying telling me how he won't be able to marry me and have kids with me cause he fucked up. How he wished he would had just stayed with me and things would go back to the way it was with all our little adventures together. It got so bad, he had to go to his mom room and cry to her and request her to make a doctor appointment.

Recently X is in a way trying to make effort towards me, but I on the other hand I don't know... I still love him, but I don't know if I'll see him as the same. I don't know whether he means what he said. He still is talking to that girl, which makes me distant myself from him and put me in a salty mood no lie. I really don't know what to do. To give him a second chance or i don't know...

I just really needed to rant about this.