I want to be a mother more than anything in the world. I had a miscarriage in March. I didn’t know I was pregnant, until then. I can’t image the pain of miscarrying when you know you’re expecting. Before the miscarriage, I wasn’t 100% sure that I had what it takes to be a mother. 6 months later, it is all I have been able to think about. All day, every day my mind is on having a baby. I know i would/will be a great Mom.

After months of ovulation testing, BBT tracking, timing sex appropriately and basically living my life to become pregnant, I am exhausted by it all.

I thought “this will be the month. My ovulation tests were strong. I know we had sex on the right days. I know this will be the month.” Well, my period is here 3 days early to assure my that I am, indeed, not pregnant. Big surprise. That red flow taunts me every month. Every month I sink in to this pit of depression and despair. Why does my body not work properly? What’s wrong with me? Why can’t I do the very thing women are on this Earth to do? Every period, every cramp, every sore breast reminds me that I must not be a real woman...

However, I read post from other women who are struggling to conceive, and I do not see them as any less of a woman as those who are sharing photos of their pregnancies and their babies... so, why am I so hard on myself?